Friday, 29 April 2016

Hands Free Sandwich Eating

Have you ever loved something so much that you refuse to let anything stop you from doing it? Even the basic need to sustain yourself through food and drink? Well when I was a kid my love for Metal Gear Solid on the PlayStation One was such that I would not stop playing it to eat and drink, apart from at dinner time when my parents would insist I join them at the kitchen table – cheers guys.

With drinks this was easy, if and when my mum would bring me a drink she’d give me a straw if I wanted one, simple, no need to stop playing. But with corned beef sandwiches, at the time my favourite thing on this fine earth of ours,  it was a little trickier. Luckily I knew Metal Gear well. I also knew sandwiches well. What I’d do is get the sandwich to dip into the ketchup (I don’t like ketchup in sandwiches, I’m a dipper not a spreader – oo er) and then I’d manoeuvre the sandwich, using my tongue, so that I could get the dipped bit into my mouth, and bite it off.

This way I could dip the sandwich into the ketchup, raise it to my mouth, take a bite, chew and swallow it without having to take my eyes completely off the TV screen, meaning I could play Metal Gear without pause.

You might call this disgusting, you might call it lazy, you might simply call it ball bustingly mental but I would argue that you mere mortals simply lack the passion, the dedication to truly enjoy the things you love and that, naturally, you’re envious of my immense sandwich eating/game-playing talents.

No comments:

Post a Comment